Pondering Selfcare.

Such a buzzword...why?

how we define it, how we do it or don’t do it, how we treat ourselves around it.

"It’s manicures, massages, exercise, girls’ night out, retreats...right?"

Sometimes my self-care has to take me by rage and storm. When I’ve ignored my inner tender for so long that the warrior shows up and starts a fight or creates a back ache to take what is rightfully hers. A moment to lay down, a yoga class, some quiet.

What if our ability to care for ourselves is learned by how WE were cared for as babies? How we were held. 

Maybe that is why sometimes my self-care feels like an annoying obligation that I want to rebel against or something else to write on a ‘to-do’ list.

I know that I will feel so good after a yoga class, but I literally have to drag my ass there.

Not self-care.


Maybe this is why I draw such a blank when I ask myself, ‘What do you want?’.....silence.

Self care comes from self knowing (heart, body, mind, spirit).

Saying no to hanging out with people who drain.

Saying yes to an adventure, even if it makes family logistics nutty.

Shutting off the computer and curling up with a book and a tea on Friday morning.

Calling a friend when my belly feels tight.

Covering my arms with fake tattoos.


It’s also tender self-talk.

You know, that voice inside your head that sometimes says, “c’mon, do it! better, faster, longer, harder, more, more, more."
That insatiable voice.

Instead, lately, when I put one hand on my chest, and one hand on my belly, the voice smiles, “Oh, hi honey.” There’s the tender. The self care that is rooted in a LISTENING rather than a DOING.